human v tree

Today, we cut back a tree so hard, so deep, I might as well say we cut it down – only the bloody thing will almost certainly grow another six foot in the next few months and we’ll be back to square one.

The tree didn’t want to be cut down. It wanted to grow tall and get blown over and smash into our shed roof the next time we get a hurricane, and it wanted to pull up its roots in the driveway, turning and twisting in its need to grow –

and I kind of understand that.

I want to grow. I want to twist my roots.

I want my career to grow. I’m ambitious. I’m determined. I’m settled in my home life, but I want to reach to the light –

I want to yell.

If I were a tree, I’d be waving my branches in the wind, demanding to be heard.

And 2019 would be the axe that divided me into pieces, and stacked me in the dry, in the quiet. Unheard.